Monday, January 31, 2011

chill out man.

I never thought I would think that minus (-)11 was warm.
I actually look forward to those days. Between minus (-) 10 and minus (-)15 is a day to celebrate. It means i can take my class of toddlers outside to play (within 15 minutes they will all be in tears). But it's ministry mandated that anything under minus (-)25 means we go outside.
unfortunately today, we will be inside.

Minus (-) 30 plus windchill.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

telling of fantastic tales

On the drive to Burts cabin, I'm nervous. For starters it's minus (-) 29 outside and for seconders T is more excited to witness me crash a sled then actually drive one. This isn't exactly inspiring confidence in me. But it's going to be a sunny and clear day, we really couldn't have hoped for better weather.
We pull up about 10ish and Burt greets us with a smile (probably the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Seriously ladies, you want to see the epitome of outdoorsy dream boat then spend a day with this man). we change and sign wavers in his shed full of wood chips and dead things After packing the dogs in to his pickup truck, we make our way to the launch site. At the site we listen to his brief safety run down and begin harness the howling dogs. My toes are already cold and I'm worried they will fall off by the end of the day.
These dogs are ready, I think they might be born ready. They lurch the sled forward even though it's anchored by a fierce looking hook into the ground. The dogs are made to run and are aching to go. Burt leads with his daughter as co-pilot, I follow, George (the 70 year old man crossing experiences of his "Bucket List") follows me and Ter brings up the rear. It was incredible. The dogs rocket the sled forward the moment the anchor is out of the ground and then silence nothing but the sound of their padding feet and the sled gliding along the pristine snow. I almost cried.
Their barking and howling is forgotten as we make our way over the frozen lake. The dogs pull the sleds effortlessly and as soon as we come to a stop, they being to whine again. As we get going George comes crashing up behind me and falls. We come to bush and follow a winding path through the trees. My sled picks up speed and I can feel the dogs excitement as we crash along the trail. I turn a corner just in time to catch George go slamming into a tree and fall over. Suddenly I'm feeling a little more confident about being the one who isn't falling off their sled, though I do sympathize with good ol'George.
When we stop for lunch Burt gets of his sled, cuts down a tree and has a fire going in under five minutes (you know, just to add to his already long list of attractive skills and attributes). He brings out his supplies and begins to warm up some moose chili over the open flame. We are all hungrier then we expected to be. Then it hits me, oh god, I have to pee. It's now minus (-)21 outside, and I have to pee in the bush. I'm wearing underwear, long underwear, sweat pants, snow pants (or as they say up here, ski pants) and then a parka the size of England. This is going to be fun. I trudge away from the fire site and begin to disrobe. It actually wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I lay my coat down beside me inside up, then pull each layer down, hover my butt just over the 2.5. feet of snow on the ground and let go!
After lunch we see some rock paintings and then make our way back through the bush. Passing over a river where George comes to yet another crashing halt,  we go by a moose carcass that is gradually being picked over by wolves, then return to the lake and back to the launch site.
When we unharness all the dogs and re load them into the truck, we take them home to their little houses, I thank Burt while choking back tears and he invites us in for coffee (into the home he built himself from the logs around his property, a two story log cabin).
We stop for dinner at a restaurant on the highway, and then George walks in. He meekly asked the waitress for a table for one and Ter invits him over to sit with us. He regales us with stories of the army in the 50's when he was stationed in the North pole. The isolation and cabin fever that tortured most of his fellow soldiers was astounding. His secret mission intercepting Russian messages and translating them was incredible. George now builds ice sculptures for the winter events in his town (12 feet high). He made me regret feeling so disdainful of his blunders during the day. Ter bought his dinner and we made our way home.

What a day! If only White Fang and Kitche were there with me, or I had remembered to pretend they were there with me. And I will remember this day for the rest of my life.
Unless you know, in a year or so I become a trapper and have a team of my own and we make our way across Canada.

....Hey, it could happen.
 that's right.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

creating mental images.

Okay, so just to give you a picture of how freakin cold it is... I'm really just going to tell you the temperature. It was minus (-) 39 degrees yesterday. The pipes in our kitchen froze. We insulated them today in hopes of, you know, avoiding that happening again.
I actually turned the water off last night and flushed the pipes so they wouldn't burst.
I don't think you heard me, I flushed the pipes. How many people can say that they've done that just to get through the night?
Not, you know, when you are shutting down your cottage for the winter and you don't want a serious problem when you re-open in the Spring, but actually just to survive through the night.
Oh, and next week it's calling for temperatures of, oh nothing much, just a balmy minus (-) 4 on friday, that is LITERALLY a 35 degree difference!

We'll see if that actually happens...

I'm really into the underline and italics feature I just noticed *wink* just adding to the continued punctuation. NOW, with emphasis! coooooool.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Monday, January 17, 2011

and you thought i wouldn't have any stories at my new job.

I will detail my adventure on dogsledding when i have time to sit and write for a while, but for now i need to tell you all what happpened while at work today.

To preface this, a woman I work with has a very sick relative I'll call her Wanda.

My boss, who isn't the most professional of people, was on facebook (just an example of her lack of professionalism) and read a status update today the she thought applied to our workmate. She promptly came into the room where I was putting the kids down for their rest and told me she read a RANDOM persons status saying "heaven welcomes another angel" or some corny shit like that and then goes and TELLS Wanda with no actual proof that it is her relative who has passed away.
Wanda of course breaks down and begins phoning all of her relatives and gets no answer, after lots of tears and a few calls she finds out it wasn't her relative and my boss is actually and idiot.

Could you imagine?

Who does that? Reads a status update and then tells someone (while at work and everyone she works with!) that their relative is dead?!?!?!?!??

Also this town is crazy, everyone is too scared to say anything because everything is interconnected. you say something and it will effect your whole life. Complain about your boss? Before anything formal will ever be done about it your boss will hear from some leak in Town Office and you're screwed.
The grocery store is highway robbery! $6.99 for a bag grapes and $7.99 for mayonnaise! Produce is rotten on a regular basis. Don't buy onions in a bag, tangerines in a box or potatoes in bulk. You wont be able to use over half of them. And no one says anything becasue it's the only place in town!
It's insane!

People just live with this corruption because they don't know anything else or they don't have alternatives.

p.s. What is "rofl" Iain?

Friday, January 14, 2011

dream come true

If I am the only one who can admit that I had imaginary friends as a child, then all of you are liars.

Mine where special friends. I'm not saying yours weren't special too. I just didn't know them. My friends were also based from literature because if having them wouldn't make me cool enough then I would make them, and myself cooler by association, by drawing attention to the fact I was a nerdy girl with imaginary friends who liked to read books (note passed tense, being that I am super cool now. obvi... I have a blog).  They weren't human imaginary friends, more like imaginary pets. I was denied pets as a child though I yearned for one. So thus, I made some up.Wild, near untameable pets.

Except I alone tamed them. I was their master.

Their names, White Fang (half dog-half wolf, all rebel and badass motherfucker) and his mother Kitche (escaped sled dog turned wild only to be tamed once again after giving birth to a litter of half wolf -half dog puppies with only one survivor (*hint, it's White Fang cuz he's badass like that) before being tamed again by man...or me).

So, I used to walk around the playground at times when my real friends were sick or had choir practice or had team sports and I would pretend I had two loyal beasts following me. Obeying my every command. As I mentioned before I was cool, obvi because I avoided extra curricular activities like choir and sports teams by fueling my deep love for dogs with imaginary ones.

I'm explaining all of this to you, my loyal 8 readers because tomorrow I will be embarking on what maybe a life long dream. I'm going dog sledding. In the northern reaches of Ontario I will be harnessing a team and exploring the Tundra. Well more like Boreal Forrest, but shit if there isn't a hell of a lot of snow up here and it doesn't feel like the North Pole erry day! So really, this could be the day that makes or breaks the rest of my life.

For real.

Wish me luck! <3

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Fun things from the final moments of 2010.

Here are some of the highlights from New Years Eve, my first in this town.
The full length entirely white fox fur coat which I wore over a black dress with iridescent gold spots, pattered tights with knee socks, and heels I absolutely cannot walk in but did just for this special occasion. Not to mention pink lipstick and fully curly hair pulled to the side in an over a shoulder kind of way.

Our neighbor doing nine shots of tequila because the world juniors was a high scoring game. He didn't make it to New Years in case you were wondering.

A fifty something divorcee hitting on chad the ENTIRE night, she was touchy, she was feely, and she was into the young ones.

The legion in general. if you ever want to feel like you are at a high school dance that serves booze, attended a legion on New Years Eve.

The fact that one man can order 10 drinks at once, no questions asked. And it was all under $40.

Vitiman T earning his name sake by bustin out some sweet break dance moves on the dance floor. That's right, he windmilled. At the legion. On New Years Eve.

Watching chad simultaneously fend off this older but interested woman at the same time as attempt to pput moves on some of the local young ladies.

Someone got on a chair and danced.

I mastered homemade spanikopita, no one had heard of it before. But trust me, it tasted just like Athens Bakery.

Who could forget the chunky heels and chunky highlights. and bedazzled shirts/dresses as far as the eye could see.

Other then that folks, it was just good ol'fashioned fun times!
Happy New Year! <3

Saturday, January 1, 2011