Came home last night to a kitty with a fish hook stuck in her cheek.
Gotta keep that fishing gear out of reach.
Almost performed surgery myself, but thought it better to travel the hour and a half and have a veterinarian do the job. So I called the on call Vet, packed up the cat and hit the road. We arrived at the office before he did. When he showed up half dressed and blurry eyed he got right to business sedating my precious kitten and removing the barbed fishing jig from her delicate little cheek. As traumatizing as the whole thing was I have to admit she looked kinda cute with that little yellow ball hanging out of her mouth like some attempt at home piercing gone wrong...
Luckily for us, the time change happened and instead of coming home at 4 AM it was only 3 AM.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
365
One year.
It came, it went.
Here's to another six months and maybe a summer leeching off the government.
It came, it went.
Here's to another six months and maybe a summer leeching off the government.
Monday, October 17, 2011
out of range
Since I am reluctant to give up my 416 area code and long distance charges are so exuberant my cellphone is off for, oh I'd say, 100% of the time. I haven't used my cell phone in so long that when I went to pick it up today (I do occasionally pick it up, on the off chance someone has sent me a text message...that almost never happens) it was covered in a layer of fine but definite dust.
I let my cellphone get dusty.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
happy thanksgiving
The following conversation happened whilst walking the dog on a thanksgiving monday afternoon.
SCENE:
OSCAR, the dog, drops his ball and shows no interest in picking it up. ME and T pause.
T: Oscar get your ball.
As ME bends over to pick up the ball.
ME: It looks like there might be a dog over there. He's more interested in that then the ball.
They walk a few paces closer. OSCAR is still focused on the small animal which appears to be short, no more then a foot tall, fuzzy, and is black with a white spot on it's back. It is tethered to the porch of a trailer.
ME: Actually, (she pauses while craning her neck to get a better view over some bushes) it looks more like a pig then a dog...
T: It's not a pig. It's a dog.
After ME stops and stares at the animal for a moment, she turns to T and says,
ME: No, it's definitely a Pig.
CUT TO:
A small black and white pot bellied pig wearing a harness and wagging it's cute little curly tail.
END SCENE.
SCENE:
OSCAR, the dog, drops his ball and shows no interest in picking it up. ME and T pause.
T: Oscar get your ball.
As ME bends over to pick up the ball.
ME: It looks like there might be a dog over there. He's more interested in that then the ball.
They walk a few paces closer. OSCAR is still focused on the small animal which appears to be short, no more then a foot tall, fuzzy, and is black with a white spot on it's back. It is tethered to the porch of a trailer.
ME: Actually, (she pauses while craning her neck to get a better view over some bushes) it looks more like a pig then a dog...
T: It's not a pig. It's a dog.
After ME stops and stares at the animal for a moment, she turns to T and says,
ME: No, it's definitely a Pig.
CUT TO:
A small black and white pot bellied pig wearing a harness and wagging it's cute little curly tail.
END SCENE.
Friday, September 30, 2011
inspiration
The other night T was in a good a mood.
He came home from a game of golf and asked if he could take me out to dinner.
He splurged and we ventured up to R. L.
We ate a fine Italian meal and then got in the truck and headed for home, by that time it had become dark out.While driving down the northern highway we saw a faint glimmer in the sky, as we made our way south it grew. Soon the horizon was blanketed by a green light.
He pulled over on the side of the road, we got out and sat on the tail gate as the most spectacular northern lights made their way across the sky. Blankets of green danced over us. It was like looking directly up at a curtain from the floor and watching as it billowed in a breeze. Bright green beams of light creeping snake-like and exploding into shimmering waves right over our heads. Until suddenly it was over.
If there is a God, that was it. A truly awe inspiring miracle coming to fruition and thus fading into nothing right in front of us.
That was one thing I have always wanted to see, and now I have.
It's all about being in the right place at the right time up here.
These things don't happen every day, but when they do...
Hold on to your breeches boys because they are about to be blown off!
He came home from a game of golf and asked if he could take me out to dinner.
He splurged and we ventured up to R. L.
We ate a fine Italian meal and then got in the truck and headed for home, by that time it had become dark out.While driving down the northern highway we saw a faint glimmer in the sky, as we made our way south it grew. Soon the horizon was blanketed by a green light.
He pulled over on the side of the road, we got out and sat on the tail gate as the most spectacular northern lights made their way across the sky. Blankets of green danced over us. It was like looking directly up at a curtain from the floor and watching as it billowed in a breeze. Bright green beams of light creeping snake-like and exploding into shimmering waves right over our heads. Until suddenly it was over.
If there is a God, that was it. A truly awe inspiring miracle coming to fruition and thus fading into nothing right in front of us.
That was one thing I have always wanted to see, and now I have.
It's all about being in the right place at the right time up here.
These things don't happen every day, but when they do...
Hold on to your breeches boys because they are about to be blown off!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Changes
So apparently, blogger changed it's design settings to make it more user friendly.
I'm not a friendly user, never have been, don't think I ever will be. I'm confused and didn't really realize I was making changes until they had already happened... and I can't remember what the old settings were, it's been too long.
I'm not a friendly user, never have been, don't think I ever will be. I'm confused and didn't really realize I was making changes until they had already happened... and I can't remember what the old settings were, it's been too long.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Anniversary
Well Folks, I did it.
Almost.
One Year, here I come.
I'm not quite there yet. But soon enough it will come 'round. The seasons have come and gone. We are back in Fall. It was this time last year, this week in fact that T was making his way to the city in his four wheel drive chariot to carry me away.
Here is where he whisked me away to and I survived. But with the changing seasons I always seem to get a little home sick. I think it's the flux of my surroundings that makes me think of all the familiarity and stability I left behind. Not to mention Fall came a full month earlier then it would have in the south. I wasn't ready for frost on September 3rd.
With the coming of Fall, just like everywhere else in the Western World, obviously means Christmas is around the corner. Christmas brings something that people line up for. Something that people hoard and steal for. That's right, you guessed it, the Sears WISHBOOK! It's here. It came. We can all calm down. Our depraved selves will be unloading our bank accounts in no time. Pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages of THINGS!
I say "we"...because I have done what I never thought I would be driven to do.
I ordered something from a catalogue.
By mail.
I flipped through the pages, something caught my eye, and I ordered it.
I ordered boots. Tall and slouchy at the same time, waterproof (fashion {I use the term "fashion" loosely} can also be functional, Sears taught me this) suede, and dark brown BOOTS. They actually don't look half bad, and by "not half bad" I mean good! Prefect for my Fall fashion needs. I mean I love my camouflage hunters boots. And as cute as they are, they really aren't that cute and aren't that versatile. All I really get from those are ironic butch...but if I wear them too much then they're just butch...right?
So these will provide the perfect balance between functional northern attire and girly-ness.
It's a Saturday morning I wake up bright an early, get my new boots on, go out for a walk with my pooch, and promptly step in dog shit.
Way to bring me riiiight back to reality, maybe these boots weren't as bright and idea as I thought. Since I live in a place where picking up your dog shit isn't a social necessity, in fact it's unheard of, if one wears their nice boots out for a walk it's at your own risk.
Cool.
Memo received.
Almost.
One Year, here I come.
I'm not quite there yet. But soon enough it will come 'round. The seasons have come and gone. We are back in Fall. It was this time last year, this week in fact that T was making his way to the city in his four wheel drive chariot to carry me away.
Here is where he whisked me away to and I survived. But with the changing seasons I always seem to get a little home sick. I think it's the flux of my surroundings that makes me think of all the familiarity and stability I left behind. Not to mention Fall came a full month earlier then it would have in the south. I wasn't ready for frost on September 3rd.
With the coming of Fall, just like everywhere else in the Western World, obviously means Christmas is around the corner. Christmas brings something that people line up for. Something that people hoard and steal for. That's right, you guessed it, the Sears WISHBOOK! It's here. It came. We can all calm down. Our depraved selves will be unloading our bank accounts in no time. Pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages of THINGS!
I say "we"...because I have done what I never thought I would be driven to do.
I ordered something from a catalogue.
By mail.
I flipped through the pages, something caught my eye, and I ordered it.
I ordered boots. Tall and slouchy at the same time, waterproof (fashion {I use the term "fashion" loosely} can also be functional, Sears taught me this) suede, and dark brown BOOTS. They actually don't look half bad, and by "not half bad" I mean good! Prefect for my Fall fashion needs. I mean I love my camouflage hunters boots. And as cute as they are, they really aren't that cute and aren't that versatile. All I really get from those are ironic butch...but if I wear them too much then they're just butch...right?
So these will provide the perfect balance between functional northern attire and girly-ness.
It's a Saturday morning I wake up bright an early, get my new boots on, go out for a walk with my pooch, and promptly step in dog shit.
Way to bring me riiiight back to reality, maybe these boots weren't as bright and idea as I thought. Since I live in a place where picking up your dog shit isn't a social necessity, in fact it's unheard of, if one wears their nice boots out for a walk it's at your own risk.
Cool.
Memo received.
Monday, September 5, 2011
This summer has been so fabulously busy that I once again have neglected my blog. Sorry cyberspace.
It seems real life might be trumping you.
But the first cold snap has come and I am once again driven inside. And thus here I sit in front of my computer looking for ways to fill the time.
This summer has been one to remember. Full of fishing, filet-o-fishing, and many other outdoorsy Canadiana activities, like camping, cooking, decking it, and gardening.
My crop of tomatoes and beans it fully in. The variety was slim and my effort levels waning so I only planted two kinds of greenery. I bought some potted herbs and they've done well too. Nearing the end of the season I don't think the stragglers will survive. The nights are becoming cold, and the vegetables will start to die. But it has been fun tending to my little veggie patch over the last few months. I guess it's true, we all become our mothers eventually.
speaking of which I really should get out there one last time and cultivate my crops.
So long.
I'll be back again soon.
It seems real life might be trumping you.
But the first cold snap has come and I am once again driven inside. And thus here I sit in front of my computer looking for ways to fill the time.
This summer has been one to remember. Full of fishing, filet-o-fishing, and many other outdoorsy Canadiana activities, like camping, cooking, decking it, and gardening.
My crop of tomatoes and beans it fully in. The variety was slim and my effort levels waning so I only planted two kinds of greenery. I bought some potted herbs and they've done well too. Nearing the end of the season I don't think the stragglers will survive. The nights are becoming cold, and the vegetables will start to die. But it has been fun tending to my little veggie patch over the last few months. I guess it's true, we all become our mothers eventually.
speaking of which I really should get out there one last time and cultivate my crops.
So long.
I'll be back again soon.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Shopping for those with no stores to shop in
To say that I "love" to shop would be an understatement.
I was born to buy. When out at a store and I haven't filled my baskets up to their fullest, I desperately grab at items on my walk to the check out frantically filling my arms like a squirrel collecting nuts and stuffing their cheeks full before the winter freeze.
It's pathetic.
I know it.
I know that I "have a problem" and need to "get a hobby".
But really, no I don't.
What I need to do is to stop putting myself in situations where I feel obligated to spend money. Not because I am in a store but I'm in some neighbours living room and some housewife is telling me the advantages of flameless air fresheners, pre-packaged spices with no taste, or the worst being sitting at my kitchen table enticed by the offer of a "free facial" turned humiliated and guilt fuelled buying.
This is a culture of at home shopping. The Tupperware party re-invented. Women praying on their friends and neighbours to support their livelihood and buy useless crap. And guess what, it works.
The only way to make real money is to exploit the people close to you by:
1. Inviting them to parties they don't want to go to.
2. Saying they don't have to buy anything and to just come for a drink.
3. Knowing that no one can stay only for a drink and they will buy something. Most likely spending more then they can afford b/c they are in your living room, have listened to some soulless woman talk about useless shit for half an hour, haven't had a drink and desperately want to go home and the only way they can leave is if they buy something and run.
4. The worst of course would be the "you won a free facial" technique. Where instead of the luxurious time the words "free facial" make one think about instead it's a lesson in humility. The overly religious next door neighbour's daughter arrives with a tote full of creams and ointments. Your feeling too embarrassed about the messy state of your kitchen fail to notice her setting up a tray in front of you and squirting random creams on to it. Then handing you a cloth and asking you to wipe your own face down thus dry washing it while sitting at a table. Nothing quite like trying to remove exfoliating facial cleanser with a baby wipe. Or a complete stranger telling you that you don't wear enough makeup and you should begin your wrinkle prevention scheme immediately, in fact it might already be too late. Then to get her out of your house you spend more then you would ever dream of spending on facial products because she tried so hard for that hour you fought off her sales pitches, you just had to give her some credit...
This is my reality. These are the majority of parties I get invited too.
They never stop. If you go to one you have to go to them all, or else it's some big scandal.
Now my pantry, my outlets, my medicine cabinet are full with useless crap I have no desire to own.
I was born to buy. When out at a store and I haven't filled my baskets up to their fullest, I desperately grab at items on my walk to the check out frantically filling my arms like a squirrel collecting nuts and stuffing their cheeks full before the winter freeze.
It's pathetic.
I know it.
I know that I "have a problem" and need to "get a hobby".
But really, no I don't.
What I need to do is to stop putting myself in situations where I feel obligated to spend money. Not because I am in a store but I'm in some neighbours living room and some housewife is telling me the advantages of flameless air fresheners, pre-packaged spices with no taste, or the worst being sitting at my kitchen table enticed by the offer of a "free facial" turned humiliated and guilt fuelled buying.
This is a culture of at home shopping. The Tupperware party re-invented. Women praying on their friends and neighbours to support their livelihood and buy useless crap. And guess what, it works.
The only way to make real money is to exploit the people close to you by:
1. Inviting them to parties they don't want to go to.
2. Saying they don't have to buy anything and to just come for a drink.
3. Knowing that no one can stay only for a drink and they will buy something. Most likely spending more then they can afford b/c they are in your living room, have listened to some soulless woman talk about useless shit for half an hour, haven't had a drink and desperately want to go home and the only way they can leave is if they buy something and run.
4. The worst of course would be the "you won a free facial" technique. Where instead of the luxurious time the words "free facial" make one think about instead it's a lesson in humility. The overly religious next door neighbour's daughter arrives with a tote full of creams and ointments. Your feeling too embarrassed about the messy state of your kitchen fail to notice her setting up a tray in front of you and squirting random creams on to it. Then handing you a cloth and asking you to wipe your own face down thus dry washing it while sitting at a table. Nothing quite like trying to remove exfoliating facial cleanser with a baby wipe. Or a complete stranger telling you that you don't wear enough makeup and you should begin your wrinkle prevention scheme immediately, in fact it might already be too late. Then to get her out of your house you spend more then you would ever dream of spending on facial products because she tried so hard for that hour you fought off her sales pitches, you just had to give her some credit...
This is my reality. These are the majority of parties I get invited too.
They never stop. If you go to one you have to go to them all, or else it's some big scandal.
Now my pantry, my outlets, my medicine cabinet are full with useless crap I have no desire to own.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
soical network
I understand I hit a little bit of a nerve with my "menopausal" comments in my previous blog entry.
Please allow me to apologize. Please have the satisfaction of knowing that in 30ish years I will be in the same hormonal flux as all of you and will curse myself for being such an insolent and foolish young woman.
I am truly sorry.
With that said, I've been doing a lot of thinking about online social networking sites and how much they can really impact such a small town like the one I live in. Like, really. There are only 1 200ish people populating this community. Probably a good 15-20 percent are seniors and therefore internet alliterate (personal assumption) then there are your 65-40's who amazingly enough maybe 50 percent of them using social networking sites, then there's the everyone between the age of 40-13 who are almost 100% actively using socail networking sites.
If my math is correct, and believe me I crunched the numbers.
Really everyone you know is on your profile, the likely hood of you meeting someone outside of your community is slim (if you are over 30 and have a family, another assumption please don't take any of this personally) Then why even have a profile?
It's like the whole town is magnified and observed on a far too regular and public basis. The whole concept of this kind of site has been warped. Instead of opening up a wider world of friends it did just the opposite. The community is surrounding itself around status updates and profile comments and chats of other (and for the most part i stress only) members of the community not the wider world.
What got me thinking about this was the removal of the 5 or so employee's being removed from their managers profile friend list. This happened without any sort of explanation or even mention. Granted, her profile is hers to with with what she pleases but the people aren't only "online friends" but actual members of a not so much larger community. A community in which you have to watch what you say and to who you say it too, because everybody knows everybody....so...be careful.
It's wildly preposterous. All of it. I really think social networking sites didn't factor in small communities of people to their scheme, I saw "Social Network" I know what they were going for. It's a global community populated by 800ish people who all speak to one another on a daily and face to face basis.
Please allow me to apologize. Please have the satisfaction of knowing that in 30ish years I will be in the same hormonal flux as all of you and will curse myself for being such an insolent and foolish young woman.
I am truly sorry.
With that said, I've been doing a lot of thinking about online social networking sites and how much they can really impact such a small town like the one I live in. Like, really. There are only 1 200ish people populating this community. Probably a good 15-20 percent are seniors and therefore internet alliterate (personal assumption) then there are your 65-40's who amazingly enough maybe 50 percent of them using social networking sites, then there's the everyone between the age of 40-13 who are almost 100% actively using socail networking sites.
If my math is correct, and believe me I crunched the numbers.
Really everyone you know is on your profile, the likely hood of you meeting someone outside of your community is slim (if you are over 30 and have a family, another assumption please don't take any of this personally) Then why even have a profile?
It's like the whole town is magnified and observed on a far too regular and public basis. The whole concept of this kind of site has been warped. Instead of opening up a wider world of friends it did just the opposite. The community is surrounding itself around status updates and profile comments and chats of other (and for the most part i stress only) members of the community not the wider world.
What got me thinking about this was the removal of the 5 or so employee's being removed from their managers profile friend list. This happened without any sort of explanation or even mention. Granted, her profile is hers to with with what she pleases but the people aren't only "online friends" but actual members of a not so much larger community. A community in which you have to watch what you say and to who you say it too, because everybody knows everybody....so...be careful.
It's wildly preposterous. All of it. I really think social networking sites didn't factor in small communities of people to their scheme, I saw "Social Network" I know what they were going for. It's a global community populated by 800ish people who all speak to one another on a daily and face to face basis.
Monday, April 11, 2011
thaw it out.
After months of hibernation, it's happened, we are thawing.
And I gotta hand it to the people of the North, it's literally 5 degrees out and they are BBQ-in' and quadin' it up. Snowmobiles are instantly traded in for ATV's. Snow is still on the ground but the people are over it. I am at least.
It's gonna get wet, then it's gonna get beautiful.
Also my mother has planned her first trip up, which I am excited about!!!!!
She's going to see how uttlery depressing it is here, and thank god she didn't have to live through a winter here when it was -40 and four feet of snow....
But really, that is all behind us, forget wolves (jeeze, so last week). It's bears now.
We're going to have to invest in some "bear proof" garbage cans and work on making ourselves look bigger then they are. Hurray. If it's not one wilderness preditor it's another.
I dont know if I mentioned this before, but there aren't any raccoons here. A woman I work with has never seen a raccoon. Seriously.
Um what else, oh! The unprofessional boss, she deleted everyone from the center from her facebook.
Like, really. I don\t know if that was actually a good move on her part, so her vertual life can now be private. Or some f-ed up way of getting some sort of revenge on these woman, oh she also deleted all of their mothers from fb too. Anyways, whatever the reason, it was all people talked about today. Luckily she was never my friend to begin with so she's couldn't deliberatley remove me from her friend list.
This womans life revolves entirely too much around fb and she isn't even part of the internet generation, she's a menopausal boomer (which could have played a part in this latest rediculousness)
Peace.
And I gotta hand it to the people of the North, it's literally 5 degrees out and they are BBQ-in' and quadin' it up. Snowmobiles are instantly traded in for ATV's. Snow is still on the ground but the people are over it. I am at least.
It's gonna get wet, then it's gonna get beautiful.
Also my mother has planned her first trip up, which I am excited about!!!!!
She's going to see how uttlery depressing it is here, and thank god she didn't have to live through a winter here when it was -40 and four feet of snow....
But really, that is all behind us, forget wolves (jeeze, so last week). It's bears now.
We're going to have to invest in some "bear proof" garbage cans and work on making ourselves look bigger then they are. Hurray. If it's not one wilderness preditor it's another.
I dont know if I mentioned this before, but there aren't any raccoons here. A woman I work with has never seen a raccoon. Seriously.
Um what else, oh! The unprofessional boss, she deleted everyone from the center from her facebook.
Like, really. I don\t know if that was actually a good move on her part, so her vertual life can now be private. Or some f-ed up way of getting some sort of revenge on these woman, oh she also deleted all of their mothers from fb too. Anyways, whatever the reason, it was all people talked about today. Luckily she was never my friend to begin with so she's couldn't deliberatley remove me from her friend list.
This womans life revolves entirely too much around fb and she isn't even part of the internet generation, she's a menopausal boomer (which could have played a part in this latest rediculousness)
Peace.
Monday, April 4, 2011
physical fitness is important.
I know, I know, I know.
I'm not keeping up with this blog as much as I said I would. But you know, a girls got business to attend to.
The weather is warmer, people are out BBQ-in' moose steaks and deer sausage. There simply arent enough hours in the day to sit at this darned computer to keep you all updated as to the going's on in the North Ontario. Really, that's it. It's warmer and people are out.
Plus five and sunny means strap on your sandals get yer grill fired up, and Q up them dogs!
On another note, I joined the gym for the first time in my life. I mean i Might as well do something to keep me goin'. Also the deep winter weight that I gained MUST come off. it must.
speaking of which, dinner is ready and there are movies to be watched!
I'm not keeping up with this blog as much as I said I would. But you know, a girls got business to attend to.
The weather is warmer, people are out BBQ-in' moose steaks and deer sausage. There simply arent enough hours in the day to sit at this darned computer to keep you all updated as to the going's on in the North Ontario. Really, that's it. It's warmer and people are out.
Plus five and sunny means strap on your sandals get yer grill fired up, and Q up them dogs!
On another note, I joined the gym for the first time in my life. I mean i Might as well do something to keep me goin'. Also the deep winter weight that I gained MUST come off. it must.
speaking of which, dinner is ready and there are movies to be watched!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
reply to in reply
Yes, those were the dudes. The guy on the left is the soldier, the middle was the cowboy and the right a cop.
I imagine they cater to gays, as well as are gay themselves, but that is just local speculation, and it is a subject of much contention among some of the ladies.
I don't know if T checks his mail, I'll ask...or maybe you have the wrong address, I think he uses hotmail the most.
I imagine they cater to gays, as well as are gay themselves, but that is just local speculation, and it is a subject of much contention among some of the ladies.
I don't know if T checks his mail, I'll ask...or maybe you have the wrong address, I think he uses hotmail the most.
Monday, March 14, 2011
in reply
So I still haven't figured out how to comment...
But Iain, did you click the link?
B/c it's amazing.
I have never been in a room so full of such drunk women in all my life.
oh and let me correct myself, it's "Canadian Playboyz"
But Iain, did you click the link?
B/c it's amazing.
I have never been in a room so full of such drunk women in all my life.
oh and let me correct myself, it's "Canadian Playboyz"
one way to beat the mid winter blues
It's Lady's Night, and oh what a night.
The women of this fair town have been looking forward to this night since last year at about this time. Once a year the Canadian Playboys make their way North.
And yes, I saw them. In all their glory. (?maybe not... glory...per-say)
And maybe not "in" anything at all.
But I saw them, Oh how I saw them.
From HotCop to Standed Soldier and even a Cowboy. Shooting fake weapons saving us all from criminals or terrorists or ourselves.... One performer even started a small fire which he gyrated in front of, sending shivers down all those housewive's spines, then turning around to reveal just a silver of his ass crack. This move realllly drove'em crazy.
Lip syncing the intros to their acts and encouraging the crowd to take out the 5, 10 and 20 dollar bills if they wanted to see the whole package. It was unlike anything I have ever seen before and honestly I hope never to see it again.
The women where wild with passion and ready to purchase all the raffle tickets, posters and novelty lighters faster then these guys could sell them.
Oh! Lest I forget the portion of the show which required audience participation, three lovely ladies where asked to come on stage.
The first my bosses future daughter in law. She was asked what her favourite sexual position is. The answer more shocking then the questions, she slurs "from behind." She is then bent over a chair and told to impersonate herself having an orgasm and handed a microphone. Gladly she screams into the mic as other jealous ladies snap photos, which will obviously make their way on to facebook within 24 hrs of this proformance.
The second, is my co worker Wanda who escapes to the bathroom out of sheer embarassment.
And I missed the third due to lack of interest.
After too much to drink and the fact that all the women I attended with have children and needed to return to their families I made my way home to the quiet of my house.
Which was nice, after seeing so much cock in one night.
For those who are interested, b/c I know some of you are!
http://www.canadianplayboyz.com/
The women of this fair town have been looking forward to this night since last year at about this time. Once a year the Canadian Playboys make their way North.
And yes, I saw them. In all their glory. (?maybe not... glory...per-say)
And maybe not "in" anything at all.
But I saw them, Oh how I saw them.
From HotCop to Standed Soldier and even a Cowboy. Shooting fake weapons saving us all from criminals or terrorists or ourselves.... One performer even started a small fire which he gyrated in front of, sending shivers down all those housewive's spines, then turning around to reveal just a silver of his ass crack. This move realllly drove'em crazy.
Lip syncing the intros to their acts and encouraging the crowd to take out the 5, 10 and 20 dollar bills if they wanted to see the whole package. It was unlike anything I have ever seen before and honestly I hope never to see it again.
The women where wild with passion and ready to purchase all the raffle tickets, posters and novelty lighters faster then these guys could sell them.
Oh! Lest I forget the portion of the show which required audience participation, three lovely ladies where asked to come on stage.
The first my bosses future daughter in law. She was asked what her favourite sexual position is. The answer more shocking then the questions, she slurs "from behind." She is then bent over a chair and told to impersonate herself having an orgasm and handed a microphone. Gladly she screams into the mic as other jealous ladies snap photos, which will obviously make their way on to facebook within 24 hrs of this proformance.
The second, is my co worker Wanda who escapes to the bathroom out of sheer embarassment.
And I missed the third due to lack of interest.
After too much to drink and the fact that all the women I attended with have children and needed to return to their families I made my way home to the quiet of my house.
Which was nice, after seeing so much cock in one night.
For those who are interested, b/c I know some of you are!
http://www.canadianplayboyz.com/
Friday, February 25, 2011
carnage in the streets
I know I talk about wolves alot. Okay, I know it.
It's just that I can't get over them.
Last week while preparing to slumber, I heard them. Howling at the moon. We opened our doors and they were close. Blood curdlingly close.
In the middle of town, last week maybe the night after we heard them howling, wolves took down a deer in someones back yard. Just imagine looking out your window and seeing a pack of wolves killing a deer. After much commotion the wolves were scared away, the police were called, and the woman whose backyard this happened in was allowed to keep the deer for meat because she had a Status Card. So they dragged the deer around to the front of the house and cut it up. Her neighbor woke up to a front lawn covered in blood. This happened.
Two nights ago, wolves killed a dog in a backyard across the street from our house. Mind you this is a second hand story heard from emergency works called to a known drug addicts house in the middle of the night, but still believable because of recent events.
Yesterday morning when a coworkers husband was leaving for work he saw a pack of wolves one street over.
This is real.
This is where I live.
I have yet to see a wolf.
But now I'm scared to.
It's just that I can't get over them.
Last week while preparing to slumber, I heard them. Howling at the moon. We opened our doors and they were close. Blood curdlingly close.
In the middle of town, last week maybe the night after we heard them howling, wolves took down a deer in someones back yard. Just imagine looking out your window and seeing a pack of wolves killing a deer. After much commotion the wolves were scared away, the police were called, and the woman whose backyard this happened in was allowed to keep the deer for meat because she had a Status Card. So they dragged the deer around to the front of the house and cut it up. Her neighbor woke up to a front lawn covered in blood. This happened.
Two nights ago, wolves killed a dog in a backyard across the street from our house. Mind you this is a second hand story heard from emergency works called to a known drug addicts house in the middle of the night, but still believable because of recent events.
Yesterday morning when a coworkers husband was leaving for work he saw a pack of wolves one street over.
This is real.
This is where I live.
I have yet to see a wolf.
But now I'm scared to.
Monday, February 21, 2011
I'm back.
After a much needed hiatus, I am back.
Well actually I only went on hiatus because I don't have much to write about.
It continues to be snowy, it continues to be cold, and the wild life continues to knock on my doorstep.
It is the long weekend.
We ventured out to Winnipeg for a few days, where I was compelled to spend as much money as possible on as many things as I possibly could. Only because these things aren't available to me on a regular basis. I'm not what you would call a "mall shopper" but upon entering the warm glow of urban sprawl I crave the indoor shopping experience that only a mall can bring. So warm, so full, so visually stimulating I have to take a nap in the afternoon to recover from my overwhelming morning.
I bought clothes I will never really be able to wear up here without looking like the city slicker I am. But when i try to blend in, people tell me I look like a tourist. I can never win. Although I do find people ask me for my opinion more, and they actually consider my answers to be credible. But anyone who knows me knows I make half of my facts up, they are just considered true because I'm an outsider. It's weird.
anyways I just bought an amazing pair of black suede wedges that wont be worn until I return to.... anywhere with side walks and more then one restaurant/bar that is only open on the condition that people are actually present will do fine. I'll take anything I can get at this point.
Oh and I'm sick of winter.
This season is long. Very long, with no end in near sight. I'll be lucky if in April there isn't snow on the ground.
Seriously.
People are talking about blizzards in June.
I'll cry if that happens.
Well actually I only went on hiatus because I don't have much to write about.
It continues to be snowy, it continues to be cold, and the wild life continues to knock on my doorstep.
It is the long weekend.
We ventured out to Winnipeg for a few days, where I was compelled to spend as much money as possible on as many things as I possibly could. Only because these things aren't available to me on a regular basis. I'm not what you would call a "mall shopper" but upon entering the warm glow of urban sprawl I crave the indoor shopping experience that only a mall can bring. So warm, so full, so visually stimulating I have to take a nap in the afternoon to recover from my overwhelming morning.
I bought clothes I will never really be able to wear up here without looking like the city slicker I am. But when i try to blend in, people tell me I look like a tourist. I can never win. Although I do find people ask me for my opinion more, and they actually consider my answers to be credible. But anyone who knows me knows I make half of my facts up, they are just considered true because I'm an outsider. It's weird.
anyways I just bought an amazing pair of black suede wedges that wont be worn until I return to.... anywhere with side walks and more then one restaurant/bar that is only open on the condition that people are actually present will do fine. I'll take anything I can get at this point.
Oh and I'm sick of winter.
This season is long. Very long, with no end in near sight. I'll be lucky if in April there isn't snow on the ground.
Seriously.
People are talking about blizzards in June.
I'll cry if that happens.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
the vermin of the north.
In the city where I was born and raised, it is not uncommon to have your picnic surrounded by pigeons, or your garbage ripped through by raccoons, or to spot the occasional rat whilst out on the town in the evening.
But here, in this northern oasis you are more likely to see crows looming on telephone wires, or deer meandering through the streets, or foxes gliding silently over the fresh snow.
But here, in this northern oasis you are more likely to see crows looming on telephone wires, or deer meandering through the streets, or foxes gliding silently over the fresh snow.
Monday, January 31, 2011
chill out man.
I never thought I would think that minus (-)11 was warm.
I actually look forward to those days. Between minus (-) 10 and minus (-)15 is a day to celebrate. It means i can take my class of toddlers outside to play (within 15 minutes they will all be in tears). But it's ministry mandated that anything under minus (-)25 means we go outside.
unfortunately today, we will be inside.
Minus (-) 30 plus windchill.
I actually look forward to those days. Between minus (-) 10 and minus (-)15 is a day to celebrate. It means i can take my class of toddlers outside to play (within 15 minutes they will all be in tears). But it's ministry mandated that anything under minus (-)25 means we go outside.
unfortunately today, we will be inside.
Minus (-) 30 plus windchill.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
telling of fantastic tales
On the drive to Burts cabin, I'm nervous. For starters it's minus (-) 29 outside and for seconders T is more excited to witness me crash a sled then actually drive one. This isn't exactly inspiring confidence in me. But it's going to be a sunny and clear day, we really couldn't have hoped for better weather.
We pull up about 10ish and Burt greets us with a smile (probably the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Seriously ladies, you want to see the epitome of outdoorsy dream boat then spend a day with this man). we change and sign wavers in his shed full of wood chips and dead things After packing the dogs in to his pickup truck, we make our way to the launch site. At the site we listen to his brief safety run down and begin harness the howling dogs. My toes are already cold and I'm worried they will fall off by the end of the day.
These dogs are ready, I think they might be born ready. They lurch the sled forward even though it's anchored by a fierce looking hook into the ground. The dogs are made to run and are aching to go. Burt leads with his daughter as co-pilot, I follow, George (the 70 year old man crossing experiences of his "Bucket List") follows me and Ter brings up the rear. It was incredible. The dogs rocket the sled forward the moment the anchor is out of the ground and then silence nothing but the sound of their padding feet and the sled gliding along the pristine snow. I almost cried.
Their barking and howling is forgotten as we make our way over the frozen lake. The dogs pull the sleds effortlessly and as soon as we come to a stop, they being to whine again. As we get going George comes crashing up behind me and falls. We come to bush and follow a winding path through the trees. My sled picks up speed and I can feel the dogs excitement as we crash along the trail. I turn a corner just in time to catch George go slamming into a tree and fall over. Suddenly I'm feeling a little more confident about being the one who isn't falling off their sled, though I do sympathize with good ol'George.
When we stop for lunch Burt gets of his sled, cuts down a tree and has a fire going in under five minutes (you know, just to add to his already long list of attractive skills and attributes). He brings out his supplies and begins to warm up some moose chili over the open flame. We are all hungrier then we expected to be. Then it hits me, oh god, I have to pee. It's now minus (-)21 outside, and I have to pee in the bush. I'm wearing underwear, long underwear, sweat pants, snow pants (or as they say up here, ski pants) and then a parka the size of England. This is going to be fun. I trudge away from the fire site and begin to disrobe. It actually wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I lay my coat down beside me inside up, then pull each layer down, hover my butt just over the 2.5. feet of snow on the ground and let go!
After lunch we see some rock paintings and then make our way back through the bush. Passing over a river where George comes to yet another crashing halt, we go by a moose carcass that is gradually being picked over by wolves, then return to the lake and back to the launch site.
When we unharness all the dogs and re load them into the truck, we take them home to their little houses, I thank Burt while choking back tears and he invites us in for coffee (into the home he built himself from the logs around his property, a two story log cabin).
We stop for dinner at a restaurant on the highway, and then George walks in. He meekly asked the waitress for a table for one and Ter invits him over to sit with us. He regales us with stories of the army in the 50's when he was stationed in the North pole. The isolation and cabin fever that tortured most of his fellow soldiers was astounding. His secret mission intercepting Russian messages and translating them was incredible. George now builds ice sculptures for the winter events in his town (12 feet high). He made me regret feeling so disdainful of his blunders during the day. Ter bought his dinner and we made our way home.
What a day! If only White Fang and Kitche were there with me, or I had remembered to pretend they were there with me. And I will remember this day for the rest of my life.
Unless you know, in a year or so I become a trapper and have a team of my own and we make our way across Canada.
....Hey, it could happen.
We pull up about 10ish and Burt greets us with a smile (probably the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Seriously ladies, you want to see the epitome of outdoorsy dream boat then spend a day with this man). we change and sign wavers in his shed full of wood chips and dead things After packing the dogs in to his pickup truck, we make our way to the launch site. At the site we listen to his brief safety run down and begin harness the howling dogs. My toes are already cold and I'm worried they will fall off by the end of the day.
These dogs are ready, I think they might be born ready. They lurch the sled forward even though it's anchored by a fierce looking hook into the ground. The dogs are made to run and are aching to go. Burt leads with his daughter as co-pilot, I follow, George (the 70 year old man crossing experiences of his "Bucket List") follows me and Ter brings up the rear. It was incredible. The dogs rocket the sled forward the moment the anchor is out of the ground and then silence nothing but the sound of their padding feet and the sled gliding along the pristine snow. I almost cried.
Their barking and howling is forgotten as we make our way over the frozen lake. The dogs pull the sleds effortlessly and as soon as we come to a stop, they being to whine again. As we get going George comes crashing up behind me and falls. We come to bush and follow a winding path through the trees. My sled picks up speed and I can feel the dogs excitement as we crash along the trail. I turn a corner just in time to catch George go slamming into a tree and fall over. Suddenly I'm feeling a little more confident about being the one who isn't falling off their sled, though I do sympathize with good ol'George.
When we stop for lunch Burt gets of his sled, cuts down a tree and has a fire going in under five minutes (you know, just to add to his already long list of attractive skills and attributes). He brings out his supplies and begins to warm up some moose chili over the open flame. We are all hungrier then we expected to be. Then it hits me, oh god, I have to pee. It's now minus (-)21 outside, and I have to pee in the bush. I'm wearing underwear, long underwear, sweat pants, snow pants (or as they say up here, ski pants) and then a parka the size of England. This is going to be fun. I trudge away from the fire site and begin to disrobe. It actually wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I lay my coat down beside me inside up, then pull each layer down, hover my butt just over the 2.5. feet of snow on the ground and let go!
After lunch we see some rock paintings and then make our way back through the bush. Passing over a river where George comes to yet another crashing halt, we go by a moose carcass that is gradually being picked over by wolves, then return to the lake and back to the launch site.
When we unharness all the dogs and re load them into the truck, we take them home to their little houses, I thank Burt while choking back tears and he invites us in for coffee (into the home he built himself from the logs around his property, a two story log cabin).
We stop for dinner at a restaurant on the highway, and then George walks in. He meekly asked the waitress for a table for one and Ter invits him over to sit with us. He regales us with stories of the army in the 50's when he was stationed in the North pole. The isolation and cabin fever that tortured most of his fellow soldiers was astounding. His secret mission intercepting Russian messages and translating them was incredible. George now builds ice sculptures for the winter events in his town (12 feet high). He made me regret feeling so disdainful of his blunders during the day. Ter bought his dinner and we made our way home.
What a day! If only White Fang and Kitche were there with me, or I had remembered to pretend they were there with me. And I will remember this day for the rest of my life.
Unless you know, in a year or so I become a trapper and have a team of my own and we make our way across Canada.
....Hey, it could happen.
that's right.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
creating mental images.
Okay, so just to give you a picture of how freakin cold it is... I'm really just going to tell you the temperature. It was minus (-) 39 degrees yesterday. The pipes in our kitchen froze. We insulated them today in hopes of, you know, avoiding that happening again.
I actually turned the water off last night and flushed the pipes so they wouldn't burst.
I don't think you heard me, I flushed the pipes. How many people can say that they've done that just to get through the night?
Not, you know, when you are shutting down your cottage for the winter and you don't want a serious problem when you re-open in the Spring, but actually just to survive through the night.
Oh, and next week it's calling for temperatures of, oh nothing much, just a balmy minus (-) 4 on friday, that is LITERALLY a 35 degree difference!
We'll see if that actually happens...
I'm really into the underline and italics feature I just noticed *wink* just adding to the continued punctuation. NOW, with emphasis!coooooool.
I actually turned the water off last night and flushed the pipes so they wouldn't burst.
I don't think you heard me, I flushed the pipes. How many people can say that they've done that just to get through the night?
Not, you know, when you are shutting down your cottage for the winter and you don't want a serious problem when you re-open in the Spring, but actually just to survive through the night.
Oh, and next week it's calling for temperatures of, oh nothing much, just a balmy minus (-) 4 on friday, that is LITERALLY a 35 degree difference!
We'll see if that actually happens...
I'm really into the underline and italics feature I just noticed *wink* just adding to the continued punctuation. NOW, with emphasis!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
and you thought i wouldn't have any stories at my new job.
I will detail my adventure on dogsledding when i have time to sit and write for a while, but for now i need to tell you all what happpened while at work today.
To preface this, a woman I work with has a very sick relative I'll call her Wanda.
My boss, who isn't the most professional of people, was on facebook (just an example of her lack of professionalism) and read a status update today the she thought applied to our workmate. She promptly came into the room where I was putting the kids down for their rest and told me she read a RANDOM persons status saying "heaven welcomes another angel" or some corny shit like that and then goes and TELLS Wanda with no actual proof that it is her relative who has passed away.
Wanda of course breaks down and begins phoning all of her relatives and gets no answer, after lots of tears and a few calls she finds out it wasn't her relative and my boss is actually and idiot.
Could you imagine?
Who does that? Reads a status update and then tells someone (while at work and everyone she works with!) that their relative is dead?!?!?!?!??
Also this town is crazy, everyone is too scared to say anything because everything is interconnected. you say something and it will effect your whole life. Complain about your boss? Before anything formal will ever be done about it your boss will hear from some leak in Town Office and you're screwed.
The grocery store is highway robbery! $6.99 for a bag grapes and $7.99 for mayonnaise! Produce is rotten on a regular basis. Don't buy onions in a bag, tangerines in a box or potatoes in bulk. You wont be able to use over half of them. And no one says anything becasue it's the only place in town!
It's insane!
People just live with this corruption because they don't know anything else or they don't have alternatives.
p.s. What is "rofl" Iain?
To preface this, a woman I work with has a very sick relative I'll call her Wanda.
My boss, who isn't the most professional of people, was on facebook (just an example of her lack of professionalism) and read a status update today the she thought applied to our workmate. She promptly came into the room where I was putting the kids down for their rest and told me she read a RANDOM persons status saying "heaven welcomes another angel" or some corny shit like that and then goes and TELLS Wanda with no actual proof that it is her relative who has passed away.
Wanda of course breaks down and begins phoning all of her relatives and gets no answer, after lots of tears and a few calls she finds out it wasn't her relative and my boss is actually and idiot.
Could you imagine?
Who does that? Reads a status update and then tells someone (while at work and everyone she works with!) that their relative is dead?!?!?!?!??
Also this town is crazy, everyone is too scared to say anything because everything is interconnected. you say something and it will effect your whole life. Complain about your boss? Before anything formal will ever be done about it your boss will hear from some leak in Town Office and you're screwed.
The grocery store is highway robbery! $6.99 for a bag grapes and $7.99 for mayonnaise! Produce is rotten on a regular basis. Don't buy onions in a bag, tangerines in a box or potatoes in bulk. You wont be able to use over half of them. And no one says anything becasue it's the only place in town!
It's insane!
People just live with this corruption because they don't know anything else or they don't have alternatives.
p.s. What is "rofl" Iain?
Friday, January 14, 2011
dream come true
If I am the only one who can admit that I had imaginary friends as a child, then all of you are liars.
Mine where special friends. I'm not saying yours weren't special too. I just didn't know them. My friends were also based from literature because if having them wouldn't make me cool enough then I would make them, and myself cooler by association, by drawing attention to the fact I was a nerdy girl with imaginary friends who liked to read books (note passed tense, being that I am super cool now. obvi... I have a blog). They weren't human imaginary friends, more like imaginary pets. I was denied pets as a child though I yearned for one. So thus, I made some up.Wild, near untameable pets.
Except I alone tamed them. I was their master.
Their names, White Fang (half dog-half wolf, all rebel and badass motherfucker) and his mother Kitche (escaped sled dog turned wild only to be tamed once again after giving birth to a litter of half wolf -half dog puppies with only one survivor (*hint, it's White Fang cuz he's badass like that) before being tamed again by man...or me).
So, I used to walk around the playground at times when my real friends were sick or had choir practice or had team sports and I would pretend I had two loyal beasts following me. Obeying my every command. As I mentioned before I was cool, obvi because I avoided extra curricular activities like choir and sports teams by fueling my deep love for dogs with imaginary ones.
I'm explaining all of this to you, my loyal 8 readers because tomorrow I will be embarking on what maybe a life long dream. I'm going dog sledding. In the northern reaches of Ontario I will be harnessing a team and exploring the Tundra. Well more like Boreal Forrest, but shit if there isn't a hell of a lot of snow up here and it doesn't feel like the North Pole erry day! So really, this could be the day that makes or breaks the rest of my life.
For real.
Wish me luck! <3
Mine where special friends. I'm not saying yours weren't special too. I just didn't know them. My friends were also based from literature because if having them wouldn't make me cool enough then I would make them, and myself cooler by association, by drawing attention to the fact I was a nerdy girl with imaginary friends who liked to read books (note passed tense, being that I am super cool now. obvi... I have a blog). They weren't human imaginary friends, more like imaginary pets. I was denied pets as a child though I yearned for one. So thus, I made some up.Wild, near untameable pets.
Except I alone tamed them. I was their master.
Their names, White Fang (half dog-half wolf, all rebel and badass motherfucker) and his mother Kitche (escaped sled dog turned wild only to be tamed once again after giving birth to a litter of half wolf -half dog puppies with only one survivor (*hint, it's White Fang cuz he's badass like that) before being tamed again by man...or me).
So, I used to walk around the playground at times when my real friends were sick or had choir practice or had team sports and I would pretend I had two loyal beasts following me. Obeying my every command. As I mentioned before I was cool, obvi because I avoided extra curricular activities like choir and sports teams by fueling my deep love for dogs with imaginary ones.
I'm explaining all of this to you, my loyal 8 readers because tomorrow I will be embarking on what maybe a life long dream. I'm going dog sledding. In the northern reaches of Ontario I will be harnessing a team and exploring the Tundra. Well more like Boreal Forrest, but shit if there isn't a hell of a lot of snow up here and it doesn't feel like the North Pole erry day! So really, this could be the day that makes or breaks the rest of my life.
For real.
Wish me luck! <3
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Fun things from the final moments of 2010.
Here are some of the highlights from New Years Eve, my first in this town.
The full length entirely white fox fur coat which I wore over a black dress with iridescent gold spots, pattered tights with knee socks, and heels I absolutely cannot walk in but did just for this special occasion. Not to mention pink lipstick and fully curly hair pulled to the side in an over a shoulder kind of way.
Our neighbor doing nine shots of tequila because the world juniors was a high scoring game. He didn't make it to New Years in case you were wondering.
A fifty something divorcee hitting on chad the ENTIRE night, she was touchy, she was feely, and she was into the young ones.
The legion in general. if you ever want to feel like you are at a high school dance that serves booze, attended a legion on New Years Eve.
The fact that one man can order 10 drinks at once, no questions asked. And it was all under $40.
Vitiman T earning his name sake by bustin out some sweet break dance moves on the dance floor. That's right, he windmilled. At the legion. On New Years Eve.
Watching chad simultaneously fend off this older but interested woman at the same time as attempt to pput moves on some of the local young ladies.
Someone got on a chair and danced.
I mastered homemade spanikopita, no one had heard of it before. But trust me, it tasted just like Athens Bakery.
Who could forget the chunky heels and chunky highlights. and bedazzled shirts/dresses as far as the eye could see.
Other then that folks, it was just good ol'fashioned fun times!
Happy New Year! <3
The full length entirely white fox fur coat which I wore over a black dress with iridescent gold spots, pattered tights with knee socks, and heels I absolutely cannot walk in but did just for this special occasion. Not to mention pink lipstick and fully curly hair pulled to the side in an over a shoulder kind of way.
Our neighbor doing nine shots of tequila because the world juniors was a high scoring game. He didn't make it to New Years in case you were wondering.
A fifty something divorcee hitting on chad the ENTIRE night, she was touchy, she was feely, and she was into the young ones.
The legion in general. if you ever want to feel like you are at a high school dance that serves booze, attended a legion on New Years Eve.
The fact that one man can order 10 drinks at once, no questions asked. And it was all under $40.
Vitiman T earning his name sake by bustin out some sweet break dance moves on the dance floor. That's right, he windmilled. At the legion. On New Years Eve.
Watching chad simultaneously fend off this older but interested woman at the same time as attempt to pput moves on some of the local young ladies.
Someone got on a chair and danced.
I mastered homemade spanikopita, no one had heard of it before. But trust me, it tasted just like Athens Bakery.
Who could forget the chunky heels and chunky highlights. and bedazzled shirts/dresses as far as the eye could see.
Other then that folks, it was just good ol'fashioned fun times!
Happy New Year! <3
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)