Sunday, November 6, 2011

cat fished.

Came home last night to a kitty with a fish hook stuck in her cheek.
Gotta keep that fishing gear out of reach.
Almost performed surgery myself, but thought it better to travel the hour and a half and have a veterinarian do the job. So I called the on call Vet, packed up the cat and hit the road. We arrived at the office before he did. When he showed up half dressed and blurry eyed he got right to business sedating my precious kitten and removing the barbed fishing jig from her delicate little cheek. As traumatizing as the whole thing was I have to admit she looked kinda cute with that little yellow ball hanging out of her mouth like some attempt at home piercing gone wrong...
Luckily for us, the time change happened and instead of coming home at 4 AM it was only 3 AM.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


One year.
It came, it went.
Here's to another six months and maybe a summer leeching off the government.

Monday, October 17, 2011

out of range

Since I am reluctant to give up my 416 area code and long distance charges are so exuberant my cellphone is off for, oh I'd say, 100% of the time. I haven't used my cell phone in so long that when I went to pick it up today (I do occasionally pick it up, on the off chance someone has sent me a text message...that almost never happens) it was covered in a layer of fine but definite dust.
I let my cellphone get dusty.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

work status.

Looks like my stay has been extended by six months.
see you in the summer ;)

Monday, October 10, 2011

happy thanksgiving

The following conversation happened whilst walking the dog on a thanksgiving monday afternoon.


OSCAR, the dog, drops his ball and shows no interest in picking it up. ME and T pause.

T: Oscar get your ball.

As ME bends over to pick up the ball.

ME: It looks like there might be a dog over there. He's more interested in that then the ball.

They walk a few paces closer. OSCAR is still focused on the small animal which appears to be short, no more then a foot tall, fuzzy, and is black with a white spot on it's back. It is tethered to the porch of a trailer.

ME: Actually, (she pauses while craning her neck to get a better view over some bushes) it looks more like a pig then a dog...

T: It's not a pig. It's a dog.

After ME stops and stares at the animal for a moment, she turns to T and says,

ME: No, it's definitely a Pig.


A small black and white pot bellied pig wearing a harness and wagging it's cute little curly tail.


Friday, September 30, 2011


The other night T was in a good a mood.
He came home from a game of golf and asked if he could take me out to dinner.
He splurged and we ventured up to R. L.
We ate a fine Italian meal and then got in the truck and headed for home, by that time it had become dark out.While driving down the northern highway we saw a faint glimmer in the sky, as we made our way south it grew. Soon the horizon was blanketed by a green light.
He pulled over on the side of the road, we got out and sat on the tail gate as the most spectacular northern lights made their way across the sky. Blankets of green danced over us. It was like looking directly up at a curtain from the floor and watching as it billowed in a breeze. Bright green beams of light creeping snake-like and exploding into shimmering waves right over our heads. Until suddenly it was over.
If there is a God, that was it. A truly awe inspiring miracle coming to fruition and thus fading into nothing right in front of us.
That was one thing I have always wanted to see, and now I have.

It's all about being in the right place at the right time up here.
These things don't happen every day, but when they do...
Hold on to your breeches boys because they are about to be blown off!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


So apparently, blogger changed it's design settings to make it more user friendly.
I'm not a friendly user, never have been, don't think I ever will be. I'm confused and didn't really realize I was making changes until they had already happened... and I can't remember what the old settings were, it's been too long.

Saturday, September 24, 2011


Well Folks, I did it.

One Year, here I come.
I'm not quite there yet. But soon enough it will come 'round. The seasons have come and gone. We are back in Fall. It was this time last year, this week in fact that T was making his way to the city in his four wheel drive chariot to carry me away.
Here is where he whisked me away to and I survived. But with the changing seasons I always seem to get a little home sick. I think it's the flux of my surroundings that makes me think of all the familiarity and stability I left behind. Not to mention Fall came a full month earlier then it would have in the south. I wasn't ready for frost on September 3rd.

With the coming of Fall, just like everywhere else in the Western World, obviously means Christmas is around the corner. Christmas brings something that people line up for. Something that people hoard and steal for. That's right, you guessed it, the Sears WISHBOOK! It's here. It came. We can all calm down. Our depraved selves will be unloading our bank accounts in no time. Pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages of THINGS!

I say "we"...because I have done what I never thought I would be driven to do.

I ordered something from a catalogue.

By mail.

I flipped through the pages, something caught my eye, and I ordered it.
I ordered boots. Tall and slouchy at the same time, waterproof (fashion {I use the term "fashion" loosely} can also be functional, Sears taught me this) suede, and dark brown BOOTS. They actually don't look half bad, and by "not half bad" I mean good! Prefect for my Fall fashion needs. I mean I love my camouflage hunters boots. And as cute as they are, they really aren't that cute and aren't that versatile. All I really get from those are ironic butch...but if I wear them too much then they're just butch...right?
So these will provide the perfect balance between functional northern attire and girly-ness.
It's a Saturday morning I wake up bright an early, get my new boots on, go out for a walk with my pooch, and promptly step in dog shit.
Way to bring me riiiight back to reality, maybe these boots weren't as bright and idea as I thought. Since I live in a place where picking up your dog shit isn't a social necessity, in fact it's unheard of, if one wears their nice boots out for a walk it's at your own risk.
Memo received.

Monday, September 5, 2011

This summer has been so fabulously busy that I once again have neglected my blog. Sorry cyberspace.
It seems real life might be trumping you.

But the first cold snap has come and I am once again driven inside. And thus here I sit in front of my computer looking for ways to fill the time.

This summer has been one to remember. Full of fishing, filet-o-fishing, and many other outdoorsy Canadiana activities, like camping, cooking, decking it, and gardening.
My crop of tomatoes and beans it fully in. The variety was slim and my effort levels waning so I only planted two kinds of greenery. I bought some potted herbs and they've done well too. Nearing the end of the season I don't think the stragglers will survive. The nights are becoming cold, and the vegetables will start to die. But it has been fun tending to my little veggie patch over the last few months. I guess it's true, we all become our mothers eventually.
speaking of which I really should get out there one last time and cultivate my crops.

So long.

I'll be back again soon.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Shopping for those with no stores to shop in

To say that I "love" to shop would be an understatement.
I was born to buy. When out at a store and I haven't filled my baskets up to their fullest, I desperately grab at items on my walk to the check out frantically filling my arms like a squirrel collecting nuts and stuffing their cheeks full before the winter freeze.
It's pathetic.
I know it.
I know that I "have a problem" and need to "get a hobby".
But really, no I don't.

What I need to do is to stop putting myself in situations where I feel obligated to spend money. Not because I am in a store but I'm in some neighbours living room and some housewife is telling me the advantages of flameless air fresheners, pre-packaged spices with no taste, or the worst being sitting at my kitchen table enticed by the offer of a "free facial" turned humiliated and guilt fuelled buying.
This is a culture of at home shopping. The Tupperware party re-invented.  Women praying on their friends and neighbours to support their livelihood and buy useless crap. And guess what, it works.
The only way to make real money is to exploit the people close to you by:

1. Inviting them to parties they don't want to go to.

2. Saying they don't have to buy anything and to just come for a drink.

3. Knowing that no one can stay only for a drink and they will buy something. Most likely spending more then they can afford b/c they are in your living room, have listened to some soulless woman talk about useless shit for half an hour, haven't had a drink and desperately want to go home and the only way they can leave is if they buy something and run.

4. The worst of course would be the "you won a free facial" technique. Where instead of the luxurious time the words "free facial" make one think about instead it's a lesson in humility. The overly religious next door neighbour's daughter arrives with a tote full of creams and ointments. Your feeling too embarrassed about the messy state of your kitchen fail to notice her setting up a tray in front of you and squirting random creams on to it. Then handing you a cloth and asking you to wipe your own face down thus dry washing it while sitting at a table. Nothing quite like trying to remove exfoliating facial cleanser with a baby wipe.  Or a complete stranger telling you that you don't wear enough makeup and you should begin your wrinkle prevention scheme immediately, in fact it might already be too late. Then to get her out of your house you spend more then you would ever dream of spending on facial products because she tried so hard for that hour you fought off her sales pitches, you just had to give her some credit...

This is my reality. These are the majority of parties I get invited too.
They never stop. If you go to one you have to go to them all, or else it's some big scandal.
Now my pantry, my outlets, my medicine cabinet are full with useless crap I have no desire to own.